The Doctor Mom
Contact the Doctor Find the Doctor at Facebook Get The Doctor in a Reader Follow the Doctor on Twitter

Friday, October 7, 2011

A Reflection on 1 Year Ago...

Tonight is Kol Nidre.  I am reminded, and have been reminded by others, of the events of last Kol Nidre.  A night where I sat next to a man, a (then) stranger, who died next to me.

He was in the right place at the right time.  In a synogogue full of doctors, a defibrilator, prayers and possibly even God, this man died and then was restored back to life.  And he is still living.  Today, he has had 365 extra days of life and stories and memories to share with his wife and family.  And I know they are grateful.

I, too, today, am reflecting on life.  Last year I was happy and complete with my husband and 2 beautiful daughters.  But now, in this last year, I have grown an entirely NEW life who was not even a thought in my mind one year ago today.  That is amazing.

I am now blessed with my 3rd baby girl who is now 3 weeks old and has made our already complete family more whole.  She is healthy and beautiful and requires 24/7 attention.  And I love her.




To all those who have written comments or have emailed, I am sorry I have been out of touch.  I will be back as soon as this little one allows.
__________________________________________________________

I just re-read my post from last year and it still touches me...so I will repost it below.  L'Shanah Tovah.



It was the holiest day of the year.  Kol Nidre.  The night before Yom Kippur.

I entered the synagogue after a filling meal preparing for my fast.  Running late as usual.  Looking around to find my family and my seat before the service started.  There they were. In the usual place.  We embraced.  Ready to be inscribed in The Book of Life.

Then it happened.  Something I was totally unprepared for; yet, I had spent years of my adult life preparing for this actual moment.  I turn to the elderly man seated next to me, he is slumped over in his chair; no breath, no pulse, no life.  His heart had stopped.  In this most sacred of places, on this most holy of nights.  Right next to his family.  Just as he was to be inscribed in the Book of Life.

I remained calm and my doctor instincts took over.  I have done this before, so many times, so long ago, it seemed.  Yet this was so different.  The hospital is a safe, controlled environment.  There are masks and medicines and respirators and IV lines.  Here, there is none of that.  Just a bunch of well trained physicians and other caring members of the community wanting to help.  Praying that this breath would not be his last.

He lay across on the chairs where we were seated.  I felt his neck and confirmed that he was without a pulse.  Delegate.  Someone call 911.  Start compressions.  I look down.  It is my duty to give him a breath.

ABC.  Airway.  Breathing.  Circulation.

No bag and mask.  No comforts of the familiar "code blue".  I bent down and began to breathe for him.  And then started chest compressions to circulate the blood that needed to get to his brain quickly.

He was moved to the hallway.  The life saving device was there.  An Automated External Defibrillator.  Another doctor placed the pads, called all clear, and the life sustaining shock was delivered to the patient.  The patient, a husband, a brother, a father called Abba.  It had been about 4 minutes.  It seemed like an eternity.

And then a breath.  And with that, a return of a pulse.  And his eyes opened.

"Abba, don't leave me", his son insisted.  "I am here with you."

Time passed, EMS arrived, the patient was stabilized and transferred to the hospital.  He was awake, combative and breathing on his own.  On his way to a recovery.  From death, back to life.

I returned to the service trying to decipher what had just happened.  But before I could gather my thoughts, before I could process this moment, the following words were spoken:
Great is the eternal power at the heart of life; mighty the love that is stronger than death.  Faithful love gives life to all, the acts of grace restore our strength.
Words I have heard every year at this time since childhood.  Yet tonight, they took on a new meaning.
Life's harsh winds uproot the weak; its hard rain beats down upon our kin.  Let those who stand support the falling, keep faith with those that lie in the dust.
And while I would not classify myself as deeply religious or even necessarily spiritual, it was hard to hear those words and not feel as though they were being spoken directly to us.  To all those who helped bring this man back to life.
To the sick, we must bring healing; and to those that are bound, release.  We give thanks for the power to live and act, for the blessing of love that is stronger than death.
Was there some divine intervention that put me in this place?  Was this night not supposed to be his last?  Could his family's blessings of love save this man from death?

I sat through the rest of the service and continued to reflect on what had happened.  I spoke the words that I have every year, tonight, with more conviction.
Birth is a beginning, and death a destination.
And life is a journey: 
from childhood to maturity, and youth to age;
From innocence to awareness, and ignorance to knowing;
From foolishness to discretion, and then, perhaps, to wisdom;
From weakness to strength, or strength to weakness--
and, often, back again;
From health to sickness, And back, we pray, to health again;
From offense to forgiveness, from loneliness to love,
From joy to gratitude, from pain to compassion
And grief to understanding---from fear to faith;
From defeat to defeat to defeat--
Until, looking backward or ahead, 
We see that victory lies
Not at some high place along the way,
But in having made the journey, stage by stage, 
A sacred pilgrimage.
Birth is a beginning, and death a destination.
And life is a journey, a sacred pilgrimage--
To life everlasting.


May this year be a happy and healthy one.  L'shanah Tovah.

12 comments:

M said...

L'shanah Tovah, may you have a good year

Susie Pappas said...

Carrie--Happy healthy new year to you and your family!! Your beautiful new baby girl is amazing and while I almost never do this, I have to say, she looks like I remember you looking at her age!! Best wishes to all of you...enjoy!!! xoxo Susie Pappas

Su Wang said...

This just brought tears to my eyes. I am trying to figure out my Med-Peds recertification and was searching on the web for direction. Ended up on the Med-Peds Residents website which featured your blog. I'm a doctor mom too so gravitated to it. Thank you for this amazingly inspirational post.
My best friend met her husband at a funeral service in a synagogue for a patient we took care of during residency. Funny how these things happen..

Heather said...

Please email me! I have a question about your blog! :)

HeatherVonsj@gmail.com

Libin Huang said...

tiffany jewellery
cheap mlb jerseys
air jordan shoes for sale
toms shoes
louis vuitton bags
nike air huarache
coach outlet online
michael kors outlet
louis vuitton bags
rolex watches
swarovski crystal
mbt shoes outlet
pandora jewelry
cheap nfl jersey
true religion jeans outlet
michael kors wholesale
nba jerseys
michael kors handbags wholesale
mcm backpack
fitflop clearance
rolex watches
michael kors factory outlet
toms outlet
prada handbags
michael kors wallet
nfl jerseys
true religion jeans
cheap oakley sunglasses
ralph lauren shirts
calvin klein outlet
prada sneakers
ralph lauren,polo ralph lauren,ralph lauren outlet,ralph lauren italia,ralph lauren sito ufficiale
snapbacks wholesale
basketball shoes,basketball sneakers,lebron james shoes,sports shoes,kobe bryant shoes,kobe sneakers,nike basketball shoes,running shoes,mens sport shoes,nike shoes
herve leger dresses

Libin Huang said...

ray ban sunglasses
ray ban sunglasses
louis vuitton outlet
louis vuitton outlet
louis vuitton outlet
louis vuitton handbags
louis vuitton handbags
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet online
michael kors handbags
michael kors uk
prada outlet
timberland boots
fitflop clearance
ralph lauren outlet
ralph lauren shirts
cheap nfl jerseys
cheap mlb jerseys
cheap snapbacks
rolex watches
pandora jewelry
thomas sabo uk
herve leger outlet
longchamp outlet
links of london
swarovski jewelry
nike air force 1
lacoste polo shirts
soccer jerseys
mcm outlet
nike air max
kobe shoes
nike roshe
calvin klein underwear

Qing Cai said...

michael kors outlet store
mulberry handbags
mulberry uk
beats headphones
kobe bryant shoes
michael kors outlet
hermes outlet store
camisetas futbol baratas
asics
thomas sabo outlet
soccer jerseys
nhl jerseys
louis vuitton handbags
polo ralph lauren
fitflops clearance
hermes outlet
true religion canada
cheap nfl jerseys
louis vuitton handbags
swarovski jewelry
michael kors factory outlet
michael kors outlet
ralph lauren polo
nfl jerseys wholesale
juicy couture outlet
true religion outlet
louis vuitton bags
nike air max
calvin klein outlet
soccer jerseys wholesale
cai20160415

dong dong23 said...

louis vuitton handbags
jordan retro
oakley sunglasses
kate spade handbags
oakley outlet
michael kors purses
hollister clothing store
cheap jordans
coach outlet store online clearances
ray ban sunglasses
cheap jordan shoes
louis vuitton outlet
louis vuitton outlet stores
nike uk
louboutin pas cher
toms shoes
tory burch sale
rolex watches
coach outlet
ralph lauren outlet
oakley sunglasses
coach factory outlet
coach outlet
nfl jerseys wholesale
jordan shoes
polo ralph lauren
christian louboutin outlet
cartier watches
polo ralph lauren
ray ban sunglasses
jordan 3
timberland outlet
kobe 9
adidas originals
michael kors outlet
ray ban
adidas outlet
coach outlet online
louis vuitton bags
louis vuitton handbags
20166.22wengdongdong

Gege Dai said...

coach outlet
michael kors wholesale
ugg outlet online
chrome hearts
longchamp outlet
dior sunglasses
true religion jeans
nike air max
true religion outlet
louboutin pas cher
reebok outlet store
mulberry outlet
ysl outlet online
gucci outlet online
cheap canada goose jackets
longchamp handbags
michael kors handbags
true religion jeans
fitflops sale
oakley sunglasses
jordan 13
michael kors handbags
swarovski jewelry
nike air max 90
adidas shoes
louis vuitton pas cher
oakley sunglasses wholesale
nike tn pas cher
nike free run
celine outlet online
rolex watches
michael kors outlet online
ugg boots
cheap mlb jerseys
ray ban sunglasses
toms shoes
0806jianxiang

艾丰 said...

jianbnin1115
ugg boots
michael kors outlet uk
mulberry sale
ralph lauren outlet
tiffany jewellery
true religion jeans
ugg boots
mulberry handbags
uggs outlet
mulberry bags

John said...

louboutin outlet
cheap ugg boots
cheap jerseys
fitflops sale
salvatore ferragamo shoes
moncler jackets
ugg canada
red bottom shoes
uggs
yeezy boost 350
20161130yuanyuan

chen wish said...

nfl mlb nba nhl snapbacks
asics shoes
air max 90
air max 2017
air max 2016
free flyknit 5.0
lunarglide shoes
kobe bryant shoes
james jordan shoes
hypervenom soccer shoes

Post a Comment