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Monday, September 5, 2011

A BIG day for a LITTLE girl....

Tomorrow I will put you on the bus and send you off to your first day of kindergarten.

Tonight you asked me if I could believe that you are starting school tomorrow.

A part of me CAN'T believe it.  As I sit here ready to give birth to your sister, I can remember what my life was like waiting for you to come into my world; 5 long, yet short years ago.  I remember looking at you, so small, and wondering what you would become.  I remember thinking that I couldn't wait for you to talk, because I couldn't wait to hear what you had to say. Now I know.  And I love every little square inch of you.  And even though I can remember life before you, I can't imagine my world without you.

The other part of me CAN believe it.  I have seen how far you have come.  Now I know you.  I know your moods, your silly songs, what makes you mad and what makes you smile.  I know you are ready for this.

Not just because we have been practicing your letters and the sounds that they make.  Not because you can count to 100.  Not because you can write your name without messing up any of the letters.  But because you are ready to blossom.  You are ready to share your charm and your essence with the world.  You are ready to learn.  From your teachers and from your classmates.  To learn about reading and math, but also about making friends and fitting in.  Some lessons will be easy for you, and some will be hard. Just like life.

You are a big girl.  You won't always need me anymore.  But I will always be here for you.  This is just the first of one of many of those days that I will realize this.  This is the first of many baby steps to come.  Baby steps that will lead you on your path of independence.  Please take them slowly.

I have taught you to have good behavior.  I hope you will say please and thank you.  I know you will be the shy version of yourself tomorrow and I'm ok with that.  In time, your little light will shine for everyone to see.

This is the first of one of many small, yet big milestones.

I know you are ready for this.
I'm just not sure that I am.