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Wednesday, October 6, 2010

All Alone...




I am at a conference in a big city relatively close to home.  On my ride to the airport I realized that I had not been on a plane in over 6 months.  And, while that may not sound long to some, for me, it is an eternity.

I love to travel.  Let me rephrase that.  I used to love to travel.  Now, however, it is easier to stay home.  But this trip is different.  I am at a medical conference preparing to learn about something that piques my academic mind.  Planning to add to my fund of knowledge to help my patients.  And refueling for more blog topics, I'm sure.

Today I realized that I am a changed woman from the person I used to be.  Now, my mind, my thoughts and my ramblings represent the beliefs of a fiercely independent thinker.  But, in other aspects of my life, I am no longer the independent person I used to be. 

I don’t travel alone much anymore.  In fact, I'm rarely ever alone at all for more than an hour at a time.  As a result, I (embarrassingly), do not even know how to get to the airport in my own hometown without my Nav.   When I got to the airport it felt strange not having my husband to direct me.  Or to ask me 1,001 times if I had my boarding pass.  And to check to be sure I hadn't lost my license.  


This time, as in times long ago, it was just me.  In charge of me.  And ONLY me.  I proceeded through each point, checking and rechecking myself to make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything.  I walked through the airport looking around in the stores, taking my sweet time, buying a magazine, drinking a well deserved latte, and eating dinner with no one to attend to.  No chaos traveling behind me.  No unnecessary potty breaks.  No strollers or kid paraphernalia.  

I didn't break a sweat even once.  A strange feeling, indeed.

And now, here I lay in a hotel room with just myself, my computer and the television.  A little slice of peaceful heaven.  No stories or book readers tonight.  No return trips for one more kiss goodnight.  No headphones on my ears to watch Kardashians.  No potential wake ups with bad dreams.  Just me, my blog and my thoughts.  And, hopefully, a well deserved GREAT night sleep.

It sounds wonderful for tonight.  But I’ll be ready for my life back in the morning.