The blog has been majorly neglected as of late due to my overwhelming need to pack. I am moving to a new house. The back side of this story is that I have been longing to move for 3 years. Unfortunately, for us, like the rest of the country, this has been difficult. But we finally decided to take the plunge. And we are moving on, and thankfully, moving up.
So, I have begun the task of packing my memories. I have been putting my silver (that I haven't seen since my wedding) into boxes. Carefully packing my Baccarat crystal so that it doesn't break before it has ever been used. Taping and labeling and arranging. And then thinking...
I want to move on. I can't wait for this new house. To inhabit it, make it our own. To make new memories and have laughter radiate between its (many) walls. To make it cozy for the girls. For them to feel like it is their home from day 1 (a daunting task...).
But I am stuck thinking about the memories of our house, the one that we have made into our home and what it will mean to leave it behind.
My current home is the first that I have owned. I left its doors as a single women and re-entered as a wife. It was always 3 bedrooms, but it has changed from a home with a guest room and an office to one that holds a family. I became who I am today in that home. I was transformed from an intern, to a resident to an attending physician while living there. Those walls heard me cry when I began to question it all. It is the home that I brought my first born into when I finally saw love in its physical form. And the same home I was in when I learned of the amazing surprise of baby #2. It is the place where I began to embrace being a mother. And a wife. And a doctor. And a gardener. And my own version of Martha Stewart and the Barefoot Contessa.
So, now that I am leaving it behind, do I leave all that behind? Can I pack the laughter, the tears, the heartache and the joy in boxes? If so, how big should they be? (and do I need bubble wrap to protect them?!?)
I find myself thinking about the girls ages and how they may not even remember this house. They won't remember playing strollers for hours? Running around in capes as superman? Dancing to the hoedown throw down? How can that even be? And if they won't be able to remember it, does that mean that it doesn't matter? When does it start to "count"?
I have decided that it does count. All of it. They may not remember all of it but I will (or at least try). And I will remind them of all the fun we had. How we all snuggled in a bed too small for 4. How we would hide when someone came over and have them "find us". How we would wave "Bye Bye" at the window before going to work.
And now we will keep making new memories. I don't know what they are. But I know there will be days of laughter, times of joy and plenty of tears in this new place. The girls will be transformed from toddlers, to adolescents (scary) and beyond (even scarier) while we are living there. They will have playdates and sleepovers (and maybe even) parties there one day. And I hope they love their new home...and that they notice their window treatments.
Please(!!!) comment if you have any insight into the above questions. Or just share your stories. I'd love to hear them, or just know someone is reading. And...now you can comment without signing in. Just click on comments at the top of this post.
6 comments:
Carrie,
What we write is what most of us feel as we move (or have moved) from one house to another, from once city to another, or from one place in our lives to another. Lovely.
Remember the old saying...home is where your mom is. :)
While the new house will be amazing, it will be your family that makes it a home. And you'll take them with you wherever you go.
The remembering will be in all you pictures and videos but we cannot save all the precious baby moments and the bloom of being newly weds it all changes and if you are lucky will become even better
as time goes by. You continue to amaze me,my dearest Carrie
As one who has moved 4 times in the last two years and have three kids ( 6,4,2) I very much appreciate this post as I felt the same when we left our first home -- the one where we had two babies, shed many tears, watched the kids learn to walk, run up and down the sidewalk, slide down huge snowbanks, and rocked a million times to sleep. I am facing another move in July (hopefully the last one for a long while!) and am reminded of the power of presence. Your kids may not remember all the details but they will remember your presence, your smell, your voice, and how they felt as part of their family. I think that is buried deep in some part of the brain even before it starts to "count". It's what they take with them for the rest of their lives.....and it is "gotten" every moment of every day no matter where they physically may be. Good luck with your move!
Car, it is YOU that the girls will always remember. It is YOU that will transfer with them from this house to the next. And for this reason the new house will be their "home" from day one. You are a remarkable mother and a family is a family no matter the surroundings. Though they might not remember the specifics, they will certainly remember the feelings. Those feelings have set the foundation for all that's about to be...for who they will be, and this will stay with all of you for a lifetime.
Carrie.. First I have to say how impressed I am with your blog.. The way you write is so warm and inviting!
Since I recently moved as you know.. I pondered the same questions. Although my reasons for moving were very different than yours... I too think about all of the wonderful memories created and shared in my home.. Becoming a wife and a mother too ( of two amazing girls!).
Hopefully soon I will find a new home like you have to start fresh and create new memories, laughter and experiences that will always be cherished! I do try to document them constantly through pictures and video (my area of extertise!)
Moving on and moving forward is great for everyone. You will make your new home "home" in every way that you desire for you and your family. Enjoy it and cherish every moment!!
Can't wait to visit!!!
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